Mentoring Lessons

Being a Mentor is an important role.  As I write this article, it is not yet Mother’s Day and I am writing for the month of June, which is when we celebrate Father’s Day. For many of us, our parents were our first mentors.  In this article, I am sharing a mentoring encounter with you because it was a learning experience….for both of us!

The company that I work for has communities throughout the United States. At one location a young lady was recently hired to fill the position of Activities Director, but had little experience with the profession, and none with the company’s procedures. Her Executive Director had meet me and my counterpart at a neighboring sister-community, and sent her to train with us.  At first my co-worker and I were considered about the time it would take away from our regular jobs, but we changed our mindset after talking it over. We felt that it was an honor to be asked, because the Executive Director could have sent the new hired Activities Director to any other community instead of to ours. We then split the time that the new hire would be in town into what worked best for us. After that, we made our lists of items that we would cover with her, and allocated it to the person who felt it was an area that they could explain the best.

In my time with this smart young lady, I found myself recalling my first few months in the profession. (That was 28 years ago already!)I found myself recalling that I was not even sure what to ask about when I wanted to set up a dinner outing or other “field trip,” as I heard a 10 year old guest in our community call the advertised trips he saw in the Lobby.   As we went through our time together, I found myself saying “I’m going to tell you how I use to do it….. or intended to do it…. or when I have time to do it…..” Despite those comments, I feel confident that I showed her some important tools she could use to get off to the right start in her career as an Activities Director in the areas of organization, time management, resident satisfaction, and more.

What was surprise to me was how much I learned from the time that we spent together. realized that a system is only good when you use it. For example, if you keep a list of entertainers on your computer and have their evaluation score next to it, and it is not up to date, then it is not as valuable to you as it could be.

• I realized that when files are put away and you have not referred to them in a few years, that you probably don’t need them anymore.  For example, I like to keep my desk calendars from the past filed away, in case I need to see something I jotted down or what happened that day in 2002. But when I opened the cabinet to show my mentee this idea, I realized I had calendars from 18 years ago! I was so embarrassed. Who cares what happened 18 years ago? Phone numbers might not be the same anymore, and if a program worked then, it does not mean it will now.

• Another big lesson for me was that sometimes going back to basics could be a smart move. For example, I use to use a worksheet to make sure that I had all the details I needed for a successful program and to refer to it the next time that I wanted to recreate the program. But, I've gotten away from that, partly because of the easy access to information on the internet. The reminder I received while mentoring this new hire was, that I can’t determine the success or failure from the information on the internet – but I could from my worksheet, if I used the system I had in place for each program (including an evaluation afterwards).

There were other lessons, or reminders, I received in the days I was training my new friend. And yes, I was there to teach her about being the best Activities Director she could be in our company, and for the residents she will serve, and I do believe that I succeeded in that.  I am glad to say that I too learned from the mentoring experience.   I think Phil Collins said it best when he said,

  “In learning you will teach, and in teaching you will learn.” 

Puzzle Theme for Volunteer Appreciation

Volunteers are an essential piece of retirement communities! They can be found volunteering at the reception desk when you first walk in, running an activity for the entire community to attend, folding napkins for the dining room and even taking potential residents on tours of the community for the sales and marketing department. Resident volunteers may also be board or committee members of your community's resident board. It is hard to imagine a successful community without resident volunteers.

As the activities director in my CCRC community, it is my responsibility to make sure there is a wonderful appreciation luncheon every year to thank our residents. This year we used a puzzle theme for the lunch. The idea came to us (me and my co-workers from our neighboring sister community) from the Positive Promotions catalog.

Here are the highlights of the event that connected the pieces together for a successful and meaningful afternoon:

In Advance
1) Took a photo of the entrance of our community (or it could be an focal point that is recognizable to your community) and had a puzzle made from it.

2) Put the puzzle together and then

• numbered all of the pieces in the order that made the puzzle whole
• created a guide with the shape of the pieces and the number of it

3) Made centerpieces for the tables.

• Bought a child's floor puzzle with very large pieces and bright colors
• Used puzzles that were unwanted (you could do this also and try to get all the pieces back into the right box, but I was not worried about that as I have a puzzle population problem already.) and fill in a glass vase. I used a small craft stick and hot glue gun to put it all together. 
• Created a personalized label on card stock from Printshop.You will need to make 2 for each centerpiece. Add a graphic so the "back" will look pretty in a different way from the front (shown here).

4) Created and printed a program for the afternoon

The Day of the Event

1) Decorate with bright colors and put centerpieces on the tables

2) Randomly placed the number puzzle pieces at every place setting with the number side up.

3) Put the guide created with the puzzle shapes and numbers out on a table. It is important that residents can reach the puzzle from all sides of the table.

4) At the point in the program that you determine is the best, call residents to the puzzle table in numeric order...... not by tables.

5) Make sure to have a patient staff person (or people) there to assist. But remember

• Turn the piece right-side up (don't laugh - it was an issue for some)
• Allow the resident to put in the piece when they are capable

6) Encourage residents to return to see the completed puzzle at the end of the program

Those are the highlights of this year's program. Of course there was a great meal, a few key speakers and a gift for everyone. I hope you will take time to see the 10 other posts that I have written about resident volunteers. 

Mother's Day Tea

Happy Mother's Day! When planning your events for the month, you might want to consider hosting a Mother's Day Tea, but add a special twist to it with a program about High Tea. Sometimes you don't have to think too far outside the (tea) box to have a special lunch for Moms. The guests are coming to a Tea Party and enjoy drinking tea. So share the story of tea!

I will tell you that when I hosted this party, it was not my idea to start with exactly. Having the party and focusing on the tea aspect came about because I had a resident who came into my office with a problem. She wanted to host a party for a few of her friends but was concerned that she might offend someone that she would forgot to invite, and if the party got to big, she would not be able to afford to do it properly. She shared with me that she had talked about teas in the past and was going to present a "little talk" as a part of her party. After a few discussions with her, we came to the conclusion that I would run it through my department as an activity and bring her in as my "guest speaker." She agreed and left happy. (Read more about successful Resident Run Programs.) 

As the Mother's Day Tea came closer, I learned that my tea-expect resident had taken the ball and ran with it! She had gotten the community very excited. She encouraged the ladies to sign up and to wear a hat when they came to the tea. She helped me select the proper teas and food that she wanted for the day so that they would tie into her talk, and she and her husband created special tea-pot shaped name tags.

The event went well overall. The room was set up with round tables, with 7 chairs per table. We had a table for name tags at the door. My resident "guest" speaker had asked a few ladies to help her at the table because the tea-pot shaped name tags were the pin-on style. They were in baskets in alphabetical order. The distribution of the name tags was the biggest hurdle because the residents came in to fast and the line became too long at the table. Next time, I would encourage the volunteers to use a longer table and lay out the name tags. They didn't want to do that when I suggested it to them.  I would also make it so that they could be helped from both sides of the table. I would also relocate the ladies helping to pin on the tags away from the table. In other words, hand them the tag at the table and ask them to go to the volunteer located in another area to get assistance if they needed it. In this case, in order to expedite the long line, I invited guests to be seated and then brought the name tags to each person that didn't get one. 

The meal was wonderful. The culinary department made a beautiful looking plate featuring ham salad, egg salad, chicken salad and cucumber tea sandwiches. Cucumber was a must-have as a part of the tea presentation talk. The plate was nicely garnished with strawberries, blackberries, kiwi and edible orchids. In order to reduce the need for culinary staff help, the plates were pre-set, along with clotted cream, strawberry preserves, scones and petit fours.

Besides the preset lunch plate, the tables also had a lovely center piece that I made using fresh flowers and tea pots. Our community owns a wide variety of unique tea pots. They have been given to us by residents in the past. If that is not the case in your community, determine how many you will need and ask your residents for them. You may want to gather a few extras in case so you options as to the ones you put out, and because some pots might work better for the flowers that you buy than others. 

As for the program, I turned the microphone over to my resident guest speaker. She talked about the history of tea, about the cucumber sandwiches and more. If you don't have a resident who has this special interest, you may find a staff member, a person from the outside community, or even an owner of a local tea house in your area who may want to share their passion with your guests.

p.s If you'd rather host a fashion show instead, I have a good timeline for organizing one at my article about fashion shows.

Click here to find Tea Party Supplies

Love Thy Neighbor Theme Party

In the retirement community where I am the activities director, we started a new program this year where residents are encouraged to nominate an employee for an employee of the month program. The concept of an employee showing the resident loving-kindness and going above and beyond their job duty is a concept that residents and employees are having a hard time understanding. It was a concept that I wanted to build on for the sake of the employee of the month program, so I created a "Love Thy Neighbor" theme party.

The idea would be that residents would have an opportunity to share what they love or appreciate about their neighbor.  Here are the bullet points about how I put this party together:

• Assigned each of our 5 buildings a color to wear
• Decorated the Lobby (party room) with balloons for each building's color
• Used Sweetheart candies to create a center piece for each buffet table and on the tables for extra color
• Printed paper hearts - to coordinate with each building's colors- and that matched Sweetheart colors that had a space for the resident's name, the resident's name being honored and the reason why they are being honored.
• Got painter's tape to stick the hearts onto the wall without damaging the paint
• Put a table up with the paper hearts and extra pens

Overall, this theme night was easy to create. I had a resident tell me that she normally doesn't attend the theme parties becuase they are to difficult for her to participate in properly (dress up). She said that because this them  was simple enough for her to participate in that she would be attending. That was good to hear.

I will say that some residents did not want to complete a heart because they feared hurting another resident's feelings. And then they were other residents who filled out multiple hearts. 

I did leave the hearts on the Lobby wall for a few days after the event so that those who came to the party early would be able to read all of the comments. It is important to have a few ideas in your back pocket to share with residents who want to participate, but can't think of something on their own. Examples of this are:

• Picks up grocery items for me
• Watches my pet while I'm away
• Collects my mail while I'm away
• Visited me in the hospital
• Respects m privacy
• Good listener
• Bakes for me
• Drove me to the hospital
• Etc. etc etc.

"A good character is the best tombstone. Those who loved you and were helped by you will remember you when forget-me-nots have withered. Carve your name on hearts, not on marble."        Charles Spurgeon

Cane Fu Self Defense

As an activities professional, I am always looking for a new program to add to my calendar. If it is free, that is great. If it is done by a professional, that is better. If it is something the residents can benefit from socially, emotionally, physically, professionally, or spiritually, that is what I want! And, if it can be added to the calendar as a repeating event, then it is a must. My gift to you this month is such a program. It was brought to my attention recently and has just been added to my activities calendar. 

The program is called Cane-Fu. It is a program that teaches seniors how to use their cane for self-defense purposes. It includes elements of balance, stretching and defensive moves. Our local police department has a few police officers who are trained instructors in the program, and they contacted us about starting the program in our community. I know that when the residents see a uniformed officer leading the class, that it gives the class some serious clout. 

The students have benefited with more self-confidence to go out into the community after taking this class. As an activities professional, the idea of reducing the resident's fear to go out of the community is a win-win situation for the resident, and for the success of the outings I plan for them.

I encourage you to look in to this program. Here are a few links to look at for more information: the first is from The Today Show and the other is from ABC's 2020 show. If it is something you think your residents would benefit from, contact your police department and see if they can assist you. If they cannot, there are items on Amazon that might be helpful to starting it yourself! Check out my Activities Director's Store to see the Cane-Fu items I found on Amazon for you.

Romantic Movies for Seniors

Valentines Day Movies, that are especially right for my group of senior adults, takes some time to figure out because the residents in my community are pretty conservative and are not interested in casual sex, seeing any kind of "hanky-panky" implied, or listening to too much foul language. With this criteria in mind, I present to you a list of movies that I have shown, or would be willing to show, in my community during the month of February. They are listed in chronological order.

1. Casablanca (1942)
2. An Affair to Remember (1957)
3. Love Story (1970)
4. Somewhere in Time (1980) 
5. An Officer and A Gentleman (1982)
6. A Room with  a View (1985)  
7. Sleepless in Seattle (1993)
8. Emma (1996)
9. Titanic (1997) 
10. Shakespeare in Love (1998)
11. Love Actually (2003)
12. The Notebook (2004)
13. Pride and Prejudice  (2005)
14. Winter's Tale (2014)

CLICK ON THE DVD TO STOP THE SLIDESHOW TO ORDER

 YOUR MOVIE DIRECTLY FROM AMAZON!

THREE THOUGHTS FOR A THOROUGH CALENDAR

"Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one.”
 - Brad Paisley

As we begin a new year, and look at the 12 months of planning ahead of us as activities professionals, it can be both overwhelming and exciting!  I'd like to share a few ways that I look at this situation.

First, I review last year's successes and add the programs that I want back onto the new year's calendar. This is a good base for raising the bar for your programming because you are starting off with what was well received. Only take the best and leave the other activity ideas in the past. 

Next, I take a look at ideas that are sitting on my desk in my to-do pile. These ideas include entertainers that I want to book, places that we should go to, class ideas, etc. etc.  I pull out the ideas that I am really interested in and start penciling them onto my calendar where I think that they will work best. I make a note on the information according to what I penciled on my calendar. At this point, I either start making calls or leave it until later to call. If you have a good volunteer, it would be a perfect project for them to take on.

And lastly, I put in my special events. In my community I host a theme party every other month. In the past, I've had ideas that are suggested, are community favorites, or that I've created on my own. This year, I am going to try another approach. I work with a few different talent agencies, and my plan is to contact them and ask them to suggest one or two of their most unique entertainers. I will then build my theme night around the show. This is different from the way that I usually do things, and most likely the way you do them too.  

I encourage you to take home your calendar book and the ideas that you have on your desk or in your file cabinet, and spend some time making a year's plan. Do it in January because after the year starts it might be tough to carve out the time to do it. Maybe you just do the first 6 months and see how it goes. Another option that has worked for me in the past is, when I am on outing such as a casino trip, I take my calendar and ideas folder with me. If my gambling money runs out and I have already been around and checked on the residents on the outing and they don’t need me, I find a quiet place to sit down and open my mind to the possibilities that I can add to my calendar. I know that when I pencil in my ideas when I am not pressured to come up with ideas, that my calendar looks better. Also, it is great to turn the page of the calendar and see that some of your work is already done for you!