Mother's Day Tea

Happy Mother's Day! When planning your events for the month, you might want to consider hosting a Mother's Day Tea, but add a special twist to it with a program about High Tea. Sometimes you don't have to think too far outside the (tea) box to have a special lunch for Moms. The guests are coming to a Tea Party and enjoy drinking tea. So share the story of tea!

I will tell you that when I hosted this party, it was not my idea to start with exactly. Having the party and focusing on the tea aspect came about because I had a resident who came into my office with a problem. She wanted to host a party for a few of her friends but was concerned that she might offend someone that she would forgot to invite, and if the party got to big, she would not be able to afford to do it properly. She shared with me that she had talked about teas in the past and was going to present a "little talk" as a part of her party. After a few discussions with her, we came to the conclusion that I would run it through my department as an activity and bring her in as my "guest speaker." She agreed and left happy. (Read more about successful Resident Run Programs.) 

As the Mother's Day Tea came closer, I learned that my tea-expect resident had taken the ball and ran with it! She had gotten the community very excited. She encouraged the ladies to sign up and to wear a hat when they came to the tea. She helped me select the proper teas and food that she wanted for the day so that they would tie into her talk, and she and her husband created special tea-pot shaped name tags.

The event went well overall. The room was set up with round tables, with 7 chairs per table. We had a table for name tags at the door. My resident "guest" speaker had asked a few ladies to help her at the table because the tea-pot shaped name tags were the pin-on style. They were in baskets in alphabetical order. The distribution of the name tags was the biggest hurdle because the residents came in to fast and the line became too long at the table. Next time, I would encourage the volunteers to use a longer table and lay out the name tags. They didn't want to do that when I suggested it to them.  I would also make it so that they could be helped from both sides of the table. I would also relocate the ladies helping to pin on the tags away from the table. In other words, hand them the tag at the table and ask them to go to the volunteer located in another area to get assistance if they needed it. In this case, in order to expedite the long line, I invited guests to be seated and then brought the name tags to each person that didn't get one. 

The meal was wonderful. The culinary department made a beautiful looking plate featuring ham salad, egg salad, chicken salad and cucumber tea sandwiches. Cucumber was a must-have as a part of the tea presentation talk. The plate was nicely garnished with strawberries, blackberries, kiwi and edible orchids. In order to reduce the need for culinary staff help, the plates were pre-set, along with clotted cream, strawberry preserves, scones and petit fours.

Besides the preset lunch plate, the tables also had a lovely center piece that I made using fresh flowers and tea pots. Our community owns a wide variety of unique tea pots. They have been given to us by residents in the past. If that is not the case in your community, determine how many you will need and ask your residents for them. You may want to gather a few extras in case so you options as to the ones you put out, and because some pots might work better for the flowers that you buy than others. 

As for the program, I turned the microphone over to my resident guest speaker. She talked about the history of tea, about the cucumber sandwiches and more. If you don't have a resident who has this special interest, you may find a staff member, a person from the outside community, or even an owner of a local tea house in your area who may want to share their passion with your guests.

p.s If you'd rather host a fashion show instead, I have a good timeline for organizing one at my article about fashion shows.

Click here to find Tea Party Supplies

Love Thy Neighbor Theme Party

In the retirement community where I am the activities director, we started a new program this year where residents are encouraged to nominate an employee for an employee of the month program. The concept of an employee showing the resident loving-kindness and going above and beyond their job duty is a concept that residents and employees are having a hard time understanding. It was a concept that I wanted to build on for the sake of the employee of the month program, so I created a "Love Thy Neighbor" theme party.

The idea would be that residents would have an opportunity to share what they love or appreciate about their neighbor.  Here are the bullet points about how I put this party together:

• Assigned each of our 5 buildings a color to wear
• Decorated the Lobby (party room) with balloons for each building's color
• Used Sweetheart candies to create a center piece for each buffet table and on the tables for extra color
• Printed paper hearts - to coordinate with each building's colors- and that matched Sweetheart colors that had a space for the resident's name, the resident's name being honored and the reason why they are being honored.
• Got painter's tape to stick the hearts onto the wall without damaging the paint
• Put a table up with the paper hearts and extra pens

Overall, this theme night was easy to create. I had a resident tell me that she normally doesn't attend the theme parties becuase they are to difficult for her to participate in properly (dress up). She said that because this them  was simple enough for her to participate in that she would be attending. That was good to hear.

I will say that some residents did not want to complete a heart because they feared hurting another resident's feelings. And then they were other residents who filled out multiple hearts. 

I did leave the hearts on the Lobby wall for a few days after the event so that those who came to the party early would be able to read all of the comments. It is important to have a few ideas in your back pocket to share with residents who want to participate, but can't think of something on their own. Examples of this are:

• Picks up grocery items for me
• Watches my pet while I'm away
• Collects my mail while I'm away
• Visited me in the hospital
• Respects m privacy
• Good listener
• Bakes for me
• Drove me to the hospital
• Etc. etc etc.

"A good character is the best tombstone. Those who loved you and were helped by you will remember you when forget-me-nots have withered. Carve your name on hearts, not on marble."        Charles Spurgeon

Cane Fu Self Defense

As an activities professional, I am always looking for a new program to add to my calendar. If it is free, that is great. If it is done by a professional, that is better. If it is something the residents can benefit from socially, emotionally, physically, professionally, or spiritually, that is what I want! And, if it can be added to the calendar as a repeating event, then it is a must. My gift to you this month is such a program. It was brought to my attention recently and has just been added to my activities calendar. 

The program is called Cane-Fu. It is a program that teaches seniors how to use their cane for self-defense purposes. It includes elements of balance, stretching and defensive moves. Our local police department has a few police officers who are trained instructors in the program, and they contacted us about starting the program in our community. I know that when the residents see a uniformed officer leading the class, that it gives the class some serious clout. 

The students have benefited with more self-confidence to go out into the community after taking this class. As an activities professional, the idea of reducing the resident's fear to go out of the community is a win-win situation for the resident, and for the success of the outings I plan for them.

I encourage you to look in to this program. Here are a few links to look at for more information: the first is from The Today Show and the other is from ABC's 2020 show. If it is something you think your residents would benefit from, contact your police department and see if they can assist you. If they cannot, there are items on Amazon that might be helpful to starting it yourself! Check out my Activities Director's Store to see the Cane-Fu items I found on Amazon for you.

Romantic Movies for Seniors

Valentines Day Movies, that are especially right for my group of senior adults, takes some time to figure out because the residents in my community are pretty conservative and are not interested in casual sex, seeing any kind of "hanky-panky" implied, or listening to too much foul language. With this criteria in mind, I present to you a list of movies that I have shown, or would be willing to show, in my community during the month of February. They are listed in chronological order.

1. Casablanca (1942)
2. An Affair to Remember (1957)
3. Love Story (1970)
4. Somewhere in Time (1980) 
5. An Officer and A Gentleman (1982)
6. A Room with  a View (1985)  
7. Sleepless in Seattle (1993)
8. Emma (1996)
9. Titanic (1997) 
10. Shakespeare in Love (1998)
11. Love Actually (2003)
12. The Notebook (2004)
13. Pride and Prejudice  (2005)
14. Winter's Tale (2014)

CLICK ON THE DVD TO STOP THE SLIDESHOW TO ORDER

 YOUR MOVIE DIRECTLY FROM AMAZON!

THREE THOUGHTS FOR A THOROUGH CALENDAR

"Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one.”
 - Brad Paisley

As we begin a new year, and look at the 12 months of planning ahead of us as activities professionals, it can be both overwhelming and exciting!  I'd like to share a few ways that I look at this situation.

First, I review last year's successes and add the programs that I want back onto the new year's calendar. This is a good base for raising the bar for your programming because you are starting off with what was well received. Only take the best and leave the other activity ideas in the past. 

Next, I take a look at ideas that are sitting on my desk in my to-do pile. These ideas include entertainers that I want to book, places that we should go to, class ideas, etc. etc.  I pull out the ideas that I am really interested in and start penciling them onto my calendar where I think that they will work best. I make a note on the information according to what I penciled on my calendar. At this point, I either start making calls or leave it until later to call. If you have a good volunteer, it would be a perfect project for them to take on.

And lastly, I put in my special events. In my community I host a theme party every other month. In the past, I've had ideas that are suggested, are community favorites, or that I've created on my own. This year, I am going to try another approach. I work with a few different talent agencies, and my plan is to contact them and ask them to suggest one or two of their most unique entertainers. I will then build my theme night around the show. This is different from the way that I usually do things, and most likely the way you do them too.  

I encourage you to take home your calendar book and the ideas that you have on your desk or in your file cabinet, and spend some time making a year's plan. Do it in January because after the year starts it might be tough to carve out the time to do it. Maybe you just do the first 6 months and see how it goes. Another option that has worked for me in the past is, when I am on outing such as a casino trip, I take my calendar and ideas folder with me. If my gambling money runs out and I have already been around and checked on the residents on the outing and they don’t need me, I find a quiet place to sit down and open my mind to the possibilities that I can add to my calendar. I know that when I pencil in my ideas when I am not pressured to come up with ideas, that my calendar looks better. Also, it is great to turn the page of the calendar and see that some of your work is already done for you! 

Don't be "DONE" in December!

This has been a heck of December as Activities Director at the retirement community where I work. This year I was more involved in the planning of the staff's holiday party than I have been in the past and I also escorted a group on a three-day trip at the beginning of the month. Between those two events and the usual Christmas chaos that takes place on the calendar, I fell behind very quickly. There were days when I came home and told my husband that I was done! Done, as in, not able to do one more thing! Done, as in, not interested in another December in my current job position. Just done!

Well, with a few good nights sleep, a paycheck that reflects all my hard work and lot of compliments from longtime residents and new to the community resident, I feel recharged. I have always been someone who has to learn lessons the hard way, and this month's experiences was no different. This is what I've learned this time.

I would be much happier in December if I would organize myself better and did not take a full week to decorate the community. I came to the realization that, even though I take a lot of pride in doing it, that I can no longer physically do it by myself. No one has ever expected me to do it alone. Staff and residents have always asked to help me. I have been selfish and kept it all to myself to do - with the exception of one tree, and with one resident's help, the past few years. I also believe that decorating the community is a gift to those who live in the community, and that they should not be putting their gift together..... so that is why I don't get more residents involved.

What I learned from working with the one resident is that I can bring out what I'd like to see on the tree and I can still put my own preference, style, etc. out into the community. After all, I am the one who buys all the decorations. I also have come to learn that I can"adjust" something if it is not the way I had envisioned it or that I might like it some one else way.

They say that if you have a goal that it is not really a goal until you have written it down or shared it with someone else. It makes you more accountable. So, I've written it down: I will share the job of decorating the community with my co-workers. And here is my simple plan. I will schedule one say at the beginning of December when everyone can help. I will have each area's decorations brought to that area - with only items that I'd like to use, and assign each person to an area. 

I really think that doing this will help our management team feel more united at this time of the year, and that together we will take pride in our community. It will be wonderful next year to be able to enjoy the holidays without as much stress. I can not wait until December next year!! I will be ready.

I encourage you to look at how you can lighten your load and make a plan. Then execute it!!

Thanksgiving Gratitude

An Activities Director’s Thanksgiving Gratitude
 

Thanksgiving is in the air! A time to give thanks and show your gratitude. Melody Beattie, Author of  Codependent No More said

 "Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow."

As an activities director of 27 years, and the author of the Recharging Retirees blog for 3 years, I have so much to be thankful for. For those who have been in the field as long as I have, you know that there are good times and bad times - as there is with any profession. The quote from Melody Beattie speaks of unlocking the fullness of life. At first I thought that my profession allows me to do that for the residents…. Make their life fuller and to make their house more of a home. But then, I realized that it is my job that has allowed me to live a fuller life. Below are a few things that I am grateful for this Thanksgiving when it comes to my job as Activities Director.

• This job is not a 9:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. kind of job. I appreciate those around me for understanding that I have to work on weekends, holidays, nights and for the Super Bowl.

• A good company to work for

• A great community of resident volunteers who create opportunities for others to enjoy

• A network of local activity directors to borrow ideas and supplies from, and to share the work load at times with

• The adventures, educational opportunities,and leisure experiences that I've been exposed to

• The relationships that I've had with the residents and the lessons they've shared with me

• The ability to find inspiration on-line. (On my blog there is a survey that asks where you get your inspiration from. The results are that most people find them on the Internet!) 

Here are a few websites, in no particular order, for which I am thankful for. I encourage you to click the links below and see what they are about. Each one has more to it than I could mention in the write-ups below. I hope they inspire you as they have at times when I needed it most!

• The Activity Director's Office is a complete resource for Activity Directors. It has the best pages for monthly ideas I've seen on-line. Here is an example of their November information which features dates to celebrate, famous birthdays and more. It has been online for 10 years now!

• Activity Directors Network includes links to many creative and supportive websites and offers a FREE monthly newsletter once you subscribe (no cost). There is also a chat forum  and Twitter page so you can connect with others who are experiencing the same issues you may be. And, if none of that gets you going at your current job, you can find a different job in the field at their job page.

• Yahoo has a few Groups that I find helpful. They are AD_Community and ActivityChat . 

• Not Just Bingo is especially helpful for new activity professionals working with assisted living or nursing home/health center residents. There is a fee to become a member, but you can access a wealth of information as a non-member for free. 

• Pinterest!! Check out Ideas for directors at retirement communities or find specific ideas about a theme party you have in mind... or might not have in mind yet. Plus soooo many more are on Pinterest! Just type in a keyword into the search box and see what others have to offer.

• Easy Party Ideas and Games The link is for adult games, but you will see many different topics, such as holidays, decorations, etc. on this site also.

• And of course, you can always Google for inspiration!

Being an Activities Director is something I am thankful for every day. Some would say it was my calling. As the holidays begin and the craziness of this awesome job elevates to another level, I encourage you to use the support resources offered above so that you can ride out the rough days.  I assume you care about your job, and the residents you serve. You want to be the best that you can be, that is why you are here reading this now! For that too, I am thankful.

"Do not get tired of doing what is good. Don't get discouraged and give up, for we will reap a harvest of blessing at the appropriate time."  Galatians 6:9